Dear ******,

How have you been? Lately I’ve been feeling restless. I’ve tasted many things—coffee, expensive tea, defeat—but I’m ready for something more. How’s my Sagittarius ascendation? What secret is the wind whispering in my ear? Personally, my search continues as I try to practice my hand-dick coordination. (And I’m also looking for female friends.)

The thing is this: I don’t want to feel used. I want to feel like I’m meeting up with a friend who actually wants to talk and won’t make everything sexual. Have a dick but don’t be one, you know? I’m 5’3/170, and prefer single men in their late 20s-30s who will host in Manhattan or Hudson County (NJ). Communication, consent, and conversing during a handjob is pretty much… mandatory. Location is also important. They might have the Mr. Universe award for dick and balls, but if they’re a hot-NYC-75-minute-commute-away then bye. Not interested in experiencing extended delays.

So yeah. Definitely looking for more meaningful encounters as I slowly jerk men off. Something about their hesitation and the derailed conversation is a sight to see. Like, how loud are my actions? Or rather, how silent are my words? I don’t know why I really like this game. Maybe I crave control as they slowly lose theirs. Seeing someone become a whimpering mess is so entertaining. Like, sure! I’d love to help you!! Just don’t be gross and stanky! (Or if anyone wants to cuddle, I might be down for that.)

Do you know anyone who would be interested? And sorry—how was your day???? You mentioned you *** ***** *** and then **** and it was all so sticky?

Waiting for your thoughtful (and descriptive) reply.

as always,

your former penpal

PS,

Here’s how I’d review myself in my semi-recent (both sexual and nonsexual) meetups:

“we rescheduled like three times because she’s a lazy commuter but also because I thought she was one of those Hot Singles in Your Area. she’s really good with her hands, but I’m also great at communicating which is why I still have my kidneys.” (ask and you shall receive!)

“she was supposed to cum but that didn’t happen so I came instead and we talked about trains. I think she smells okay.”

“I left my door unlocked just in case she wanted to run out. 👟 She’s not very cuddly, but I also brought her to an empty park at night which wasn’t what it sounds like…. 🚫🚫 I swear I didn’t have any creepy intent! Is that why she didn’t cuddle me back? 😫😫”

“she keeps asking me to fulfill her fantasies (doesn’t she have any other people to bother?) but she also plays with my dick and brings me snacks so idk am I really complaining?” (thanks for being a friend.)

“we talked online for about two months and eventually met over hot chocolate. I keep second guessing her weird-ass intent—why does she want to keep giving handjobs to strangers? why do I keep responding as if I’m her penpal? and why do I keep flaking on her?”

“She arrived at the meeting place and I made her wait quite a while. By the time I was ready, she already left. Did I mention I live across the street?“ (lol)

“Okay, so she let me have a redemption arc. 🎉🥳 I wanted her to inspect my dick but instead she just talked about men’s underwear. Is this because I locked the door this time? 😐“