Okay. I just sent my application in on an apartment in Bushwick last night. It's got two entrances to a backyard only shared with the unit next door. It has washer/dryer in-unit. Dishwasher. Big living room area. It can be a two-bedroom with the other person having a private office or a three bedroom with one person with a smaller room leading to the backyard. If a person or couple took the whole upstairs, they'd effectively have their own bathroom since there's one in the basement room that I would be taking. It's just a few blocks away from Maria Hernandez Park—blocks away from the L.

**COUPLES PLEASE INQUIRE!**

I was supposed to apply for this place with a couple I know. We put down a holding deposit to take it off the market. They were supposed to send applications in last night. This morning, she texts me to say they found a different place (what?!).

The whole rent is effectively $2750 after a promotional one month off for the year. The couple was going to pay $850 each to have both of the main floor rooms. If one or two people come in for the rooms, we can figure out the split. I really need to move August 1 and this place is a *dream* apartment considering how I usually live. I don't want to lose this place and start over—I'm fucking exhausted by the hunt. Anyone looking for a grown-up apartment with a backyard and a roommate who would be in the basement bedroom? Please hit me up ASAP and I'll hit up the agent to arrange a showing. He lives a few blocks from it and can do fairly last-minute.

About me? I'm a professional comedian and podcaster. My 4-bedroom dissolved amidst them not being able to work during shelter-in-place. I can be very social with a roommate or keep mostly to myself. I hope to live in a sex-positive, queer-friendly home that doesn't hang Blue Lives Matter flags in the living room.

EDIT: filled the rooms