I understand that one of the functions of this sub is to be a space in which people with NVLD can vent and get a sense of affirmation from people who are experiencing similar feelings for similar reasons. I think that's a valid thing to do, and may be helpful to a point. I also recognize the potential harm in toxic positivity--in forced positivity that turns a blind eye to real problems and denies people the opportunity to work through problems and blow off steam. Still, following this sub, I do sometimes run across a post in which someone's negative thinking seems to be half the problem (and I see the same thing on other NVLD social media, like on Facebook).

These people project a sense of helplessness, of resignation, of having given up. They aren't thinking about possible changes and solutions. They just seem to be shouting pointlessly into a void: "I hate having NVLD. It's the cause of all my problems. I hate this or that impairment or deficit or symptom. I hate myself. I hate my life. Etc." So much anger and negativity. Some venting can be helpful, but I think it's best viewed as a step in an ongoing process. Okay, vent, but what comes next?

You can become trapped in a self-reinforcing pattern of negative thinking. Although I definitely don't have everything figured out myself, I have the benefit of being in midlife and having lived with my diagnosis as an adult for about fifteen years, which I consider a long time. The thing that has been most helpful to me is capitalizing on my strengths. Everyone has something that he or she does well. Milk it to maximum advantage. Try to structure your life in a way that takes maximum advantage of your strengths and minimizes the frequency of bumping into your weaknesses.

It's understandable to go through periods of frustration, and to need to do some metaphorical yelling, but try not to stay in that space or let venting become an end in itself. Let it be a step in an ongoing process, and try to think about next steps and ways out. You will occasionally revert to the need to scream metaphorically in frustration, but the question should always be: "Okay, I feel shitty, but what comes next? This [not NVLD per se, but the state of circular negative self-talk] can't be my whole life."

Sorry if this post has had a rambling quality, but I hope it's helpful to someone.