Officially A Registered College student with a Student Advisor (Raúl) and Student Email. 📧 I’ve never felt so proud of myself for sticking with something I knew nothing about. I had to google what FAFSA was and how to fill it out. Even if I don’t complete school in my projected Graduate Year of 2028 this day and this letter will mark a reminder that if I wanted anything I could always get it.

I just have to want it more than being afraid of the future changing because of it. I have lived my life in a prison governed by those who were all supposed to love me. I’ve learned I self sabotage because I’m so used to being surrounded by negative people and energy that when my life begins to hit a incline and the sun becomes apparent behind the clouds I realized I never hit the peak so I ensure my inability to reach the apex.

Then I complain and cry about the choice I made and consequence behind that. And I use that sadness and despair as an excuse to continually endure my own demise. If I can’t have the people I want in my life because they simply aren’t good for me then I’m about to put my everything into this right here. I’m getting my degree In Behavioral Psychology because I have struggled to relate with people and have been the girl that it takes her all to get out of bed in the Mornings.

I’ve also loved people who struggle with their identities and Their personalities. Mental is a Serious Battle for those who are affected and have affected loved ones. I want to help someone else find the answers they deserve to know about why they feel how they feel or How to Handle those emotions. I wouldn’t be here if not for a Psychologist. Telling me I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t crazy or mean or a bad person. My brain is simply wired differently. And it requires changed behavior to become healthy habits and practice everyday. That my emotions would lie to me and make me feel extremes.

That when I’m angry and I say something I can’t take back that I need to call myself out on it immediately and use a CB technique of tapping so I can ground myself and descalate my anger. I am impulsive. I have gone untreated and undiagnosed for years.

Watched myself hurt ppl I loved the most and I didn’t know why. Because I really do feel that. I overthink and I over analyze things. I isolate myself because I cause pain in those I wish to be close to. I am Bipolar. I can’t trust my own thoughts or Feelings because it could end my life or cause hurt to anyone who I care for. I’m getting my Bachelors Degree. I’m doing it on my own . First brick to my solid foundation. Here goes nothing ….

Change. Progression. Elevation. Ascending.