So my NSpouse (M47) and I decided to separate because of various reasons including but not limited to infidelity on his side......He didn't contribute money or time to help me run our household for majority of our marriage. I felt like a nagging wife constantly telling him to pick up after himself or run a few household errands.

Now 2 months ago we decided to separate....He spent time, money and full effort to set up a complete new home while still living with me. He then sent me a video of his new house and honestly it broke my heart. He was showing off his efforts like a child waiting to be commended for the good effort he has put in. Completely self absorbed with his accomplishment. Completely oblivious of how I see it.

It made me realise that the issue was never about the money or time (excuse - I am so busy in office, while I work too) it was the inclination. He knew that I will pick up the slack and do the heavy lifting (emotionally and physically) so he never contributed on his own unless nagged about it.

So here I am on a Saturday sitting in a 17 year old house which needs repair, maintenance, money and lot of effort and he sits in his brand new house feeling good about his efforts.

I am more heartbroken today then I was the day he physically shifted out.