well i’m not here to vent or cope or anything but i will tell you about myself and as you probably assumed correctly, i like to do this.

may have seen my flair “narcissistic traits” and thought it’s a fake narc or lurker but i’m actually a covert borderline diagnosed with NPD a couple times as well and traits of ASPD/CD in childhood. i’m 20 now and became significantly more self-aware in the last year and this is going to sound extremely cliché and stupid but just be yourself.

i’ve been having a shitty time the past few weeks overthinking some of my bad decisions that i’ll probably never show convincing remorse for but nevertheless, it eats away at me and makes me feel ashamed of myself and like i’m regressing.

so i started to make reels on instagram and at first i did it as compensation for things i said that may have pissed off or offended close friends of mine that may impact my mood in their absence should we drift apart.

from an NPD angle it’s a supply thing, HPD needs validation and BPD just wants to feel normal/not be alone and i think that more or less applies across the board.

I know I’m never going to be a sane completely neruotypical and non-traumatized person so I accepted I had to take risks and be willing to laugh at myself if I fail, but keep my intentions straight and for me with acting - I make a convincing manipulative/charismatic archetype and so it’s not too hard to “act” in that role.

So far, my reel is taking off a lot better than some of my other feeble attempts at both fame and creative expression. If you want to see it or just talk about life my dms are open. I’m in a relationship of nearly 5 months and may not be thriving but I sure am surviving and when I feel good ab myself truly I think that means I can help similar people to do better as well. Maybe acting isn’t ur thing, but as someone who still has some social, self, intimate and legal battles to fight - I’m here and that may not change anything for you but just know it isn’t always shit. Any of us and I mean cluster b as a whole (narc traits) can do better in time and who cares if it’s not good enough for someone else.

Just find a mission or passion that gives u ur supply and own ur role in life whatever that may be, it does not have to be an archetype of grandiosity/abuse/trauma but to each their own.