M20, diagnosed all over the cluster b with the exception of histrionic traits.

I know that grandiosity, impulsivity, callousness or whatever it is causes my problems but I’ve truly always seen the issue being that everyone else sucks ass far more than I feel like I’m God.

I also know I’ve had major shortcomings in my relationships due to my lack of empathy, any kind of responsibility and drug problems.

But really, it’s so hard to care in this bullshit world where we were never shown empathy to begin with (in my case at least, some of yours too I’m sure).

It just feels unfair that metaphorically speaking, I’m the guy who throws the ball to himself and runs it into the end zone and when I feel good about myself for genuine achievement now I’m some cocky ass.

I live with my gf and 7 roomies (various ages, various cluster b traits, mostly BPD and NPD) there’s some antisocial too but it’s really only me and one other guy.

It also feels like I have to constantly keep myself in check knowing I’ll cause some of the more sensitive (covert narc, codependent, borderline personalities) to feel stress knowing I won’t. Knowing my manipulative tendencies will advance me even if the “bad” ones I have to hide. Maybe I do feel like God or Jesus sometimes (on opiates) but feeling like the devil when I became aware of my actions wasn’t pleasant and didn’t make things too nice.

Before this post sounds too much like coping, I’m going to cut it off. General sentiment is that I think they keep rebranding mental illness and I feel like I just happen to fit the bill cuz I do all the shit and I’m not a sensitive bitch.