I asked a similar question in this sub regarding malignant narcissism and psychopathy and it seemed to be a hit... I saw Sam Vaknin touch upon how, like covert narcissism and classic BPD, covert BPD and grandiose NPD are more similar to each other than their counterparts of the same disorder in terms of presentation.

I don't have NPD, I have covert BPD. But I've had several professionals tell me I meet the criteria for NPD, it's just due to the nature of the cluster b schemas, one person shouldn't be able to develop both even though a vast majority of the time people aren't "pure" narcissists, borderlines, histrionics, etc. I've also noticed some strong antisocial tendencies among the covert BPD population

It's like how malignant narcs seem a lot more like sociopaths or psychopaths, they fit into that grey area of narcissist not truly being a fit categorically and neither does sociopath, so it ends up being a mix of both traits creating a problematic hybrid. That's mostly how I feel about my cluster B sandwich, but being able to analyze the disorders and create discussion always helps, even if the change I want to happen overnight is going to take many more months, maybe even years.

Since diagnosing personality disorders are all about traits I figured I'd mention mine for those who may not know covert BPD well as I can understand why it may be seen as milder and less interesting than psychopathy because it is. There's simply less hard science related to BPD and even NPD,

I'm a pathological liar, have a violent history involving property crimes and assaults, financial impulsivity and substance abuse (thank the chronic boredom) have an abnormal relationship with empathy (not fully absent), lack remorse, and have enough superficial charm and relatively high intelligence but feel hollow inside with no real depth. Because of the frequent assaults involving peers and all that I was actually originally diagnosed ASPD, though these days after more evaluation and the fact that I experience empathy to some degree (cognitively or in an egocentric way, I lack affective empathy with very few exceptions) I tend to just view people as tools to be used my shrink figured I ran too hot and blew up too frequently to be ASPD, so the anger component shifted me more into BPD/NPD territory. The shame runs deep and so does the guilt, it's turned me into a very secretive person who seems outwardly judgemental even if they have deep-seated insecurities related to how I look, act and all that shit and I know that's why I'm so manipulative even towards the people closest to me. I very rarely take the mask off and no one sees how deep the lies go, occasionally I'll worry about being found out but I always know I can talk my way out of it or find other people to manipulate. This has almost become a need, even if it's not always for malicious reasons I have this need to persuade people.

I crave that feeling of connection and think I give damn good advice for example but at the same time I know it can never be truly possible for me because I'm so dishonest and struggle with trust and compassion to such an extent, sounds pretty dramatic and classic cluster B? Well yeah, I'll stop here to avoid sounding like a cliche moron. We've seen/heard it all before, the point being why do people put so much value on these PD labels? There's a whole spectrum for every cluster b or "dark" personality trait and everyone shows these traits sometimes, same with bipolar disorder and ADHD even. Completely separate disorders but hyperactivity, grandiosity, mania, that just sounds like stress sending someone into overdrive for worse and if not then it's just a life force of energy.

Tangents aside, these disorders have lots of overlap. The title has my primary question though if you enjoy my confessions then brownie points for you. Being honest sometimes feels nice even if it's to a bunch of strangers on the internet. After years of being surrounded by other dark personalities family and peer wise, its safe to say we get our situation even if not every narc wants to be buddy buddy.

Based on all this shit I've said, it would sound like I have a lot of issues? But I'm great in stressful situations and keep persisting no matter how hard shit gets just because I've already felt like I've been through the worst of it.

Understanding these things just helps with familiarity regarding my own issues, meaning I don't have family members or significant others approaching me about therapy, mood stabilizers, or any of that horseshit propaganda.