I know I'm pretty new here but trust me, enough people have told me I have NPD and I've just blocked it out every time.... Its blindingly obvious that I do.

My current diagnosis is EUPD with substance misuse disirder, but I was always dishonest in my assessments by virtue of my narcacism.

I certainly tick several markers for BPD as well.

But what about the crossover with the chronic emptiness and perpetual pain with the feelings of unreality. That complex emotional world or feeling of otherness.

I hear things. All the time. I have done for years. And even have memories as a child saying I could hear people talk about me and how I was different.

Its hard to pick apart because many times I've thought people were saying things about me, it was later proven to have been said.

But other times it seems very unlikely.

I'm trying to get a sense of if its worth looking into a schizoid or psychotic or whatever it is type thing.

I've previously been given a diagnosis of a drug induced psychosis, but since then all the things I reported to have heard were confirmed to have been said about me and I was not imagining things.

There's definitely an element of people exploiting my weak grip on reality to gaslight me.

I might have NPD but I have also absolutely been psychologically abused, and it makes it very hard to pick things apart when you're not just battling a false self, but other peoples flawed ethics, cruelty and closing of ranks around you to suit their false narrative (people are willing to excuse all manner of things regarding their treatment of me because they believe I'm guilty of crimes that I could not and would never commit).

Its a nightmare.

I really do not want.