Sometimes i get this weird moments that i call moments of clarity where i get super self-aware and can see clearly all my traits. It's not always good because i end up telling people my "dark secrets" like how i attempted to unalive myself to manipulate my mother. Idm saying it here because you guys don't know me. Those moments however do not last i go back to being the " you did me wrong i'm not a narcissist " most of the time. It's like being blinded by your own brain. Ig it can be somewhat a kind of denial not the kind where i think there's nothing wrong with my way of thinking but rather how people are allowed to be different without needing a label. I heard that the key to recovery is self-awareness but idk how to maintain that state of mind. Are you guys self-aware and how did you process denial ? Because for me i keep going into denial even though i was diagnosed at 19 and i'm 21 now