I think im one of the low functioning narcissists and i think its a hopeless case. I wonder if anyone here overcame something like this.

I am in my early 20s, but ive already done a lot of damage to myself and others. basically did a lot of dumb stuff and put my own future in jeopardy and ruined my relationship w my parents ( even though theyre also cluster b and not without fault). Other people are able to cope with coming from such a family and get motivated to do better for themselves whereas I just decided that I am too good for them and stopped calling my dad, who was also paying my tuition.

Overtime I became self aware and brought myself to a collapse. I always make the least rational decision because i was convinced my parents are my enemies even though now i realize that theyre all I've got and its what i got in life so i have to play my cards. Since the pandemic, i havent been to school. I also had two different jobs and got fired from both. Looking at me you probably couldn't even tell that I'm kinda smart and have some talents because of my personality which puts it all to waste. Im wasting everything ive got but cant stop myself. It's probably also ASPD. But there's gotta be a way to at least become more functional. With every collapse i become worse. Its like im running away from the consequences of my actions. The more I run, the more issues I cause and the deeper my personality sinks into delusions. Not to mention that im probably a nightmare for everyone around. I actually suck at being a psycho/narc, yet cannot stop. Why? Its a mess of a post but im tired now, sorry.