Hi everyone

I really need some advice or encouragement. I am 22 years old and im steuggling with accepting that i have NPD (self diagnosed). I live with my abusive parents and i feel like living here is killing me slowly. I think my narcissism gets worse the more i interact with my mom. She doesn't see me for the real me even when I present her with it. I am lucky to have some connection with my true self at 22, but it feels like my relationship with my mom is toxic and horrible. I feel like every interaction with them reiforces my brains instincts to shut it off and start acring for her. I really have ti move out if this is what is happening, however, everytime i am away from my mom i have a narcissistic collapse. This is so terrifying to think that i need this abusive relationship and that im depended. How do i stop this? I mean ik its hard not to seek supply but isnt there any technique to replace it or to calm yourself down? I am afraid that if i dont leave home soon i will lose the little i have left