I had a very severe manic episode about a year ago that was filled with hallucinations, delusions, and severed ties that have been restored. Due to the help and hard work of my family and medical team I was able to grasp back to reality. My friends that I thought I have pushed away came back. I went to therapy on a bi weekly basis. I started to look for employment and found a job. I tried to keep the manic energy side of me and went back to the gym with a personal trainer. Then the momentum stopped.

I ghosted multiple people who helped me. From my medical team to my employment. I just found it to be more comfortable to be indoors. I shut myself away, playing games with my friends who kept their lives going while I was in a quagmire of comfort and creature comforts. I took up smoking again, a habit I gained while manic. Along with an occasional drink and edible.

I have had roughly 8 weeks of employment and am currently not in any other form of advancement to a “career”. I am the biggest that I have ever been and my self respect is at an all time low. Even lower than post manic me reflected on all that I have done.

I see now that I need help. I can’t go at this alone. I need professionals and the support of my family to get back into gear.