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CW: talks of psychosis, delusions, etc. if you are triggered by these things, I would recommend not reading this, as that's kind of how I got to the point I'm at right now
I knew I should not have touched the subject. There's been another redditor on this sub, as some of you may have noticed, going through what looked like me a couple years ago. Disconnect from reality, delusions of persecution and delusions of reference.
I saw a therapist and a psychiatric nurse and they offered me antipsychotics at the time, though they said they thought I was grounded enough that I probably didn't need them. So I didn't go on them. Through therapy, patience from people in my life, and a few minor medications (antidepressants, mostly) I've slowly gotten better and have been able to be functional socially in life. But I still struggle with delusional thoughts sometimes. Most of the time I am able to brush them off, and continue on. But talks of spiritual and ethereal things, abstract concepts of time and perception, philosophical talks on existence and even just the joking trope about the matrix.. those things can trigger it in me again.
Trying to help that redditor has been triggering to me. I should have listened to my gut and stayed out of it, but I was so scared for them because I know how scary it is to feel those things and be so entrenched in those thoughts. So I PMed a few other redditors who had commented on their posts, with an article I thought was informative on how to help those suffering like that.
And I got into a conversation with another redditor about spirituality and divine things and perceptions of time.. which I never meant to get into. And it has triggered some awful thoughts and feelings, and that terrible panic is back. I'm so scared. I'm already dealing with so much shit in my life.. I can't go back to how I was. I was barely strong enough to pull myself out of that psychosis before, I don't know if I could do it again.
Please.. I don't know what to do. I can't do this again. Please tell me it's going to be okay.. help me through this.
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