As a practicing muslim struggling with an addiction to sex, i’ve found reddit to occupy a place that in someways fulfills and in other ways is deeply disturbing.

I find the act of penetrating someone with mind and playful words whilst touching myself and imagining the actions of the dirty sensual talk we share so enticing. It gives me that deep release and interaction i crave through sex.

but everytime i do so im filled with a deep guilt, quickly delete my account and tell myself im staying away, before inevitably finding myself back here all over again.

It’s an endless cycle and one that I struggle to break free from having convinced myself this isn’t “really zina” and ultimately being addicted to that release.

And at the same time i see this as a better alternative to physical acts that would inevitable be much worse.

i feel my mind is twisted but i wonder if anyone else is in the same position. The longest i’ve been away from here is 6 months…