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Am I right for considering a divorce? Long read
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Asalamualaikum my brothers and sisters.

I am doing voice to text so I apologize if I make any mistakes. Me and my wife have been having quite a few issues. The top of the list being trust. This might make easier sense to someone that is in the same culture I am. From Pakistan.

First things first. My wife has made it pretty obvious that she only married me for the visa to the United States. Before marriage it was a different story. It seemed like she had the same feelings that I did. I was completely totally in love. And it seemed that she felt the same. So the issue about the visa that popped up was after we got engaged, her parents paid someone to forge documents so that they could adopt her uncles son. That popped up a few issues.

Number one being that if I apply for her, that will pop up as fraud, because if she wants to apply for them in the future, the first question they will ask is most likely a DNA test to prove that the son is theirs. Considering the massive age gap. And obviously it will come back negative. The issue is that they did this after marriage. And they already knew that this would cause a major issue because someone else in their family did the same thing and their visa was denied on the spot. And the first question she asked me after we got married was if she applies for her parents, will that boy come to because he’s so young But honestly, I let that go even though that boy‘s father is someone that I do not get along with at all. That Uncle has caused a few problems between me and her since day one.

What happened that made me really start to consider a divorce was recently. She had asked me for money because she needed a new laptop for university. Anne said that we needed a new TV for our room. So I sent her quite a decent chunk of money. I told her to get whatever laptop she wanted and TV. And just deposit the rest into our bank account so that way there is money there in case you ever needed it for an emergency. I asked her not long after what laptop she got, and what TV. And she started dodging the question. And after some back-and-forth for quite a while, she admitted that she did not get the laptop or TV or put the money in our bank account she gave the money to that same Uncle.

Now I know my responsibilities towards my wife. My money is her money and she is free to spend it as she wants. But the fact of the matter is that she lied about why she needed it and gave it to someone who I do not trust at all. I’m not worried about the money. But the fact that she lied to me about something like this can’t leave my head and I can’t see myself trusting her. And I don’t know if I can have a marriage where I can’t trust my partner. Any advice would be great. Jazakallah. I apologize for the long post.

TLDR: wife married me for my visa. And basically stole money from me to give to someone I do not trust.

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11 months ago