Warning: A lot of negative thoughts, do not read if it will trigger something for you

I have been struggling with mental health issues for years and I have gone through phases of being suicidal

I feel like I am at the worst point right now and there is no way back

I am not going to do anything to myself, don’t worry

But I am just feeling so done with everything and I made this reddit account just to vent this out without having any hope

Maybe it is just a coping mechanism to write this all out in words

I can’t believe all the things that have happened in my life

The good things that happened to me was really good

The bad things that happened to me was really bad

Sometimes I wonder to myself, am I destined for heaven or hell because I really don’t know……

When things were good in my life I was so happy and contented and religiously I was doing well Alhamdulilah

When things became bad….. it became so bad I felt I was not worthy of anything in life

I’m sorry for this random rant, just forgive me if I have wasted your time

May Allah bless you kind soul

~ N ❤️