Hey ladies and gents, I just wanted to preface by saying that there might be certain things I say that may offend some people and that is most definitely not my intention and if it irks of offends you in any way please accept my apologies ahead of time.

So to start, a little about myself and my ongoing journey as a born-Muslim and understanding my faith and religion, I'm in my early twenties, born in Singapore but raised here in Melbourne, Australia. I've been raised a Sunni Muslim by my wonderful parents, though I'd like to think we are more liberal? (I hate this word). But liberal in the sense that my mother and sister don't wear hijab usually, we listen to music and whatnot, you get the gist we're a really chill family. But I'd like to stress that all of us are religious, we pray 5 times a day, we fast, I go for my Friday prayers, eat halal food, are generally modest, and my parents will not compromise on marriage in the sense that I and my sister will have to marry a Muslim or someone who reverts. Now about my personal beliefs and journey, at around eighteen when I graduated highschool till I was around 21, I, unfortunately lost my faith. At around 18-19 at one point I was completely atheist, and then went on to being more agnostic. Ill be honest here, I did alot of stupid things during this 'phase' that im not proud of and are definitely not halal (though I never had sex im still a virgin haha). However, the loneliness and lack of fulfilment that came in my pursuit of instant dopamine hits to feel good in the moment ironically was what turned me back to Islam. Alhamdullilah, I believe in Allah and Islam 100% completely now and have started to pray consistently again. (It's reddit, you're free to call me an apostate or whatever, I'll accept all of it, but it'd be nice if people were nicer lmao)

Back to the present, after finding Islam again, I really started to re-educate myself on all things religion (not just Islam). I've watched tons of Dawah videos (though I really hate the ones where they just devolve into screaming matches), my favourite one probably being Muhammad Ali (Muslim Lantern) on YouTube. I've read and reread the quran and loads of research materials. Now, as a Sunni, I'm meant to follow the Quran and Hadiths.

Here's where I'm in abit if a rut or a pickle you could say. In learning more about different perspectives of Islam, different viewpoints and whatnot, I stumbled upon the progressive Islam subreddit, much like this subreddit. Ill be honest, I HATE how different islam subreddits are always at war with each other like you guys really need to relax. But anyways, hadiths have recently been a cause of concern and some stress for me. It's like a rabbit hole and gets deeper and deeper and while I'm enjoying learning, I'm at a point where I'm often confused on what's what. I understand the perspective of the Quaranist where the Quran is the only 100% objective word of God that has been directly transmitted through Prohet Muhammad (pbuh) as THE messenger, the quran here being the only preserved message because let's be real, hadiths only came 200 years after the prophet pbuh. I ALSO understand the other perspective (and the one more prevalent here i would think) that we need hadiths as they are essentially what the Prophet pbuh did and what we should follow. It also complements the quran by providing us instructions on how to pray and whatnot.

Here's my issue, there are some hadiths out there where, lets be completely honest, are really antithetical to what the Quran has to say (specifically some of the hadiths on slavery and such). Now, many would say, oh there's weak hadiths and string hadiths. Even the one with Aisha's age (I hate to bring this up I'm so sorry), many scholars would say that you don't HAVE to believe that she consummated her marriage at 9 or whatever. Ok, fine. Of that's the case, doesn't this mean that cherry picking hadiths is fine? What's the rule on weak or strong hadiths besides it being Sahih al Bukhari and everything else? Do I HAVE to follow all Sahih al Bukhari, and all the other hadiths I can pick and choose? How am I supposed to authenticate the strength of hadiths? And how am I supposed to trust or believe scholars who have 'authenticated' said hadiths 200 years after the prophet's pbuh time? I've thought about it like this, if the bible can be corrupted, seeing as how it's after the time of Jesus, what's not to say hadiths aren't corrupted in the same way? Scholars aren't perfect like the prophets were. They're human and probably have sinned and whatnot. It's also quite concerning how people blindly believe in hadiths and use it to perpetuate things that are clearly un-Islamic, much like the anti-Islam agenda, once again using hadiths to disprove and demonise Islam. It's also quite interesting how Islamophobes only use hadiths most of the time to demonise Islam (ik context does matter in alot of these things, but the overwhelming amount of anti-Muslim rhetoric does come from their use of hadiths to fit their perspective)

Let's take a breather...I am NOT trying to offend anyone. I merely am seeking to educate myself. Alright lets get back to it...

I'm feeling extremely conflicted at the moment because of hadiths. I believe completely in the quran 100%, but outside of that, I don't know what to believe in. Should I even believe anything outside of the quran? And if so, what? I'm also quite concerned and also quite sick of the arabization of Islam im general when it's meant to be a universal religion (just a pet peeve of mine disregard this point I just wanted to add it into this mish mash of thoughts).

Alright, alright I guess I'll end it here even though I have alot more on my mind. I guess, I just want to hear your thoughts on hadiths and the like. What advice would you give me? Please any wisdom will be greatly appreciated 🙏 ❤️