Edit: my apologies for the typo in the title/question.

I’ve been in a relationship with a European guy. He lives in Europe and travels frequently to my region in the USA for work. We met on a hookup app, and we were only planning to have a physical relationship. Twenty months later and we have fallen in love with each other.

The thing is, we always had parameters around our relationship. He does not want to move to the USA and I don’t want to move to his country. Neither of us are looking for marriage or serious commitment, so we decided that so long as his project in the USA is active, our relationship will be active.

Again, it’s been the most amazing 20 months of my life. I think the temporary nature of our relationship has enabled us to enjoy the present moment. There is no wondering where we are going. We know. We will eventually end. We talk about our end occasionally too. When we do talk about it, it is like we won’t break up, but we will just pause.

The temporary nature of our relationship also enables us to overlook certain red flags. Specifically mine. I have borderline personality disorder, which I manage mostly well. I do have occasional set backs. I am also an alcoholic in early sobriety. I am also homeless, living out of my car. I do have a stable job (just had my 6year anniversary). I am struggling to return to a stable situation, and he has been there with me and for me to help me pick myself up when I have fallen. He has encouraged me to find help, and he has helped me see that I’m able to accomplish more than I think I am capable of.

From my perspective, he doesn’t have any red flags. Just that he lives so damn far away.

In any case, his project is now at a crossroads. He’s been working on phase one of an aerospace demonstrator (a new plane thing). Phase one is to demonstrate that the concept can actually fly, and phase two is to develop a commercial version of the plane. His client has contracted his company for phase one, but his company has had to bid for phase two. The client is currently in the decision making process for phase two contracts.

If his company is selected for phase two, then he will be coming back to the USA regularly for the next 3-5 years. If his company is not selected for phase two then his next trip (in December) will be his last.

I’m trying to prepare myself for the worst, which includes song selections.

This is the best relationship I have had. And it will still be a good relationship when it ends. And he and I know that we could not work out long term.

What kind of songs speak to that? Ending on good terms, still being in love, but knowing it is for the best.