My MRIs are stable, but I feel worse. I can't explain it, I just feel worse. My toes are curling which is new. I've had nerve pain develop since my lesions first stabilized. If my MRIs are stable, why do I have these new symptoms? Why tell me that I have "low disease burden" when this is effecting me every day? When I have to take two different muscle relaxers and pills for nerve pain? Am I imagining these new symptoms and bad days? What the fuck?

I just want to stop Tysabri and stop all my meds and just see. See if I really have this. See if I develop new lesions when I'm off my DMT. See if everything comes roaring back without gabapentin and baclofen to stop them. I just want to scream and cry. I feel so alone. I know my MRI "looks pretty good for someone with MS." I feel like a fake.