I've been DX'd for 3 years and my mobility is largely intact (other than living in a warm climate, so obviously being limited in the heat and needing cooling products). I struggle with fatigue and pain, but they're mostly managed. My main symptom is awful spasticity which I take two different muscle relaxers for.

When I go periods of time where my spasticity is controlled (and even when it isn'twell-controlled honestly), I feel like a fake. I was incredibly fortunate to be diagnosed during my first flare because of how extreme my symptoms were and how conclusive my LP and MRI were. My specialist called it "textbook multiple sclerosis." That makes me feel more like a fake because I've been on Tysabri since and haven't had another relapse.

When I get into an anxiety spin, I pore over my lab work and MRIs and Google "X result Y test multiple sclerosis" to see what comes up. I've considered skipping infusions to see what happens, whether I'd relapse then or not even though I know that's fully idiotic and I'd never do it.

I've been in therapy, but this seems to be the one thought that I can't shake. I just...how do I not feel like this? Am I alone in feeling like this?