Hi! I’m a 24 y/o trans femme (she/they), I’ve been out and proud since I was 15, on HRT since I was 19.

So, as the title states, I’m conflicted about whether to get gender confirmation surgery. See, I’ve never been completely dysphoric about what I have, but I’m not entirely happy or comfortable with it, either. It’s more that I’m content with it, settling, so to speak. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting GCS for years, constantly flip flopping between wanting and not wanting it. I believe that a lot of my apprehension exists because of how often I was told “you’ll regret it” by my parents on an almost daily basis.

Honestly, when I think about it, I really don’t like the idea of having to live the rest of my life with what I have already. The thought genuinely makes me sad. And at the end of the day, I’d honestly rather get the surgery and regret it over not getting the surgery and regretting it on my deathbed. But then, I’m still scared of that chance of regret… and as stupid as it might be, I also want it because I hate the way I have to have sex currently. I’ve topped before, and I could absolutely live without that (I’m a bottom anyways), and anal is just mediocre and unpleasant, more often than not. I know that I’d have to put up with just as much prep, if not more, as I already have to do before sex, but at least it would feel less embarrassing and gross.

I’m sorry that this kind of turned into a vent. Could I maybe ask for some opinions?