A little back story, I'm a 25 MtF trans woman, and I just recently came out to my parents after being on HRT for 8 months. My mom has been confused, but supportive and has made it clear she loves me and want to understand what it means to be trans. Most of my family has had similar attitudes, general confusion with a lot of love and wanting to know more.

My mom had told me she had a bunch of questions she wanted to ask me about being trans and she emailed them to me this morning for me to review and then discuss in person with her. One question has had me stumped and honestly I don't know the best way to respond, here is her question in full:

"Grandma is not in a good place mentally with dementia progressing sort of rapidly. She would likely not do well with this because it could be confusing to her. Also, she would likely say inappropriate things out of her confusion.  I want to love and support you, but I also want to support my mother and don’t want to add unnecessary confusion to grandma. If we get to Christmas or even just a family gathering where she is there – Are you open to being [deadname] for those events to protect/honor grandma and her mental state? Or how do you suggest we proceed? I don’t have the best answer and am open to discussion."

My mom obviously wants to do what is best and I know she doesn't mean any harm, but what should I do? I don't ever want to go to an event as my deadname again, I never want to dress as a man again. But I also don't want to confuse and hurt my grandma. Any advice would be appreciated 💙💙💙