I’m 3.5 years into HRT. My breast have grown to the point where I measure 40D but my nipples haven’t changed nor do I have any sensitivity in them.

My body fat never really redistributed like I thought it would. I’m on spiro, estradiol and progesterone.

I am pre-op and I’m not dysphoric about my original equipment. Most of my dysphoria comes from my face and body shape. I don’t even really take notice of what’s between my legs. However as time goes on, I consider bottom surgery more and more for the following reason.

Even though my libido has dropped considerably I still want to orgasm but can’t because I can’t get hard. The “little blue pill” makes be sick to my stomach and flushed in the head (the one on my shoulders). As a result, it’s not very useful so I’m contemplating bottom surgery to have nerves reorganized but I fear that is risky and not the best reason to want the surgery. I like butt play but it’s not enough to get me there.

If I did, I’m not sure if I want full depth or limited depth. I’m not attracted to men but I’m open minded enough to never say never.

When it comes to play time with my partner, I can do some things but obviously not all things. It’s pleasing to my partner but I’m usually left disappointed. My partner and I are poly and she has a boyfriend who can do the things I cannot and it’s starting to take a toll on me but it’s not consuming me. My biggest fear in regards to this is finding another partner for myself, is only going to increase my emotional pain of not being able to orgasm.

I suppose I’m looking for words of encouragement, advice or even other women’s stories of their process to relate to.