Heeelloooo lovelies <3. Im so glad to finally have found this sub reddit. All of the stories on here are just thrilling and amazing.

Anyways, the holiday seasons have really brought me down. My parents have been divorced for about 4 years (I am currently 15, 16 in a month) and that makes things quite frustrating. Its like whenever i tell one something difficult, i have to struggle to now tell the other. Ever since i was 11, i have had feelings that i may be transgender. I started thinking about this when my dad made me go to the comic book store and had me let me pick anything in the store. Of course i picked this beautiful copy of the wizard of oz graphic novel. If you didnt know, the original book was about this boy who turned out to have been magically hidden by a witch as this lowly boy, but was actually the princess of the kingdom. When this was revealed, i cried for many nights straight, because all i wanted was to turn into a beautiful princess too. This lead to more things to bubble up in my life. Ive always thought about how much I love the things girls get to do, like have long hair, have feelings, and talk about actually meaningful topics.

In my 7th and 8th grade, i grew my hair out, as i slipped into a deep depression because everyone around me hated me. There seemed to be no end in sight, but eventually my hair became the only joyous part of my life.

When i finally successfully bargained with my parents, and was allowed to switch schools, the stresses were lifted, but they forced me to get my hair cut (it was finally shoulder length at that point). To their credit, it was hideous and greasy, but noone told me how to take care of it, and i struggled to find good resources online. I cried for a long time about this, and i had several anxiety attacks, and finally succumbed, eventually letting them get it cut. I went to flipping sportsclips, and it was hell. I felt like the world was crashing down on me, and noone was there to help. Finally, i met a girl, who turned out to be trans. He was the best ever for a while, but it quickly became toxic. I hadnt thought about being trans again until i met him, and this totally changed my world.

This is where im at now. This christmas, i got a ton of unexpected gifts. I got way too many clothes. So many boy clothes, and i hate it, i appreciate the gesture, but i hate them so much. I was suicidal for a night last week, and i cant imagine how this could have been any worse. Now i have to experience a second nightmare tomorrow, since i have 2 christmases because my parents are divorced. I dont know if i can deal with this. All i want is some makeup, and maybe some cute clothes, like a skirt or dress, or cute sweatshirt. I get so weak thinking about this, because its all that i want in life, so i think im going to come out to my dad tomorrow. Im going to tell him, and be strong, and change my life right now. I have a good support network of friends. All i want is to be a girl, and i just need to free myself. Is there any advice you all have for me in coming out? I already told my mom many months ago, and just have my dad to tell. I just dont really know what to say to him.

Thanks everyone, and wish me luck!!