I just brought home a bottle of estradiol and spiro, and I'm so excited to get started, but I'm also scared.

Honestly, I want to experience dating and sex as a man before I transition. I'm absolutely trans and I'm going to transition, but I'm worried about missing out on experiences that i won't be able to try post-hrt. It feels like right now is my last chance before fully identifying as a woman.

I don't see myself getting a date any time soon, and I can't want to wait to start HRT, so I probably won't ever get to try stuff as a man. But would I even want to? or would it feel wrong and just confirm my transness

I don't know

I'm also scared of dating as a trans woman. It's like I come with this big asterisk. I'm either a man, but not really cause I'm trans, or I'm a woman ,but not really cause I'm trans. How am I supposed to date in either context without it being awkward and embarrassing and shameful?

I know it's not supposed to be, but I can't get a date or make friends and it feels like it's because of my transness. Or maybe my lack of confidence in myself as either gender.

idk, maybe the estrogen will help me grow some confidence