So, to be transparent... I'm pre-everything and a virgin. Women used to (sort of still do) scare me. Ever since I came out, I can feel myself growing more confident as I've been coming into myself lately.

I decided to put myself out there the past few days... For hookups that is, I won't try and justify myself cause I think most of us have done it at some point in our lives.

I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's been affirming with being called beautiful and all that. I've never flirted before in my life so that was nice but...

In terms of actual serious engagements it's a desert. 😭

Lesbians... It feels weird to hit on them, not only having a penis but still being kind of masc as well. Although I know many lesbians are generally accepting of trans women, I don't know if that extends beyond the point of "friends".

Men... I don't have a problem with them, actually I very much like fem men. It's just fem men are only interested in other men, or they're simply not my type. I'm a rare trans girl who doesn't really care for masculine men... And surprise surprise, 90% of the men who hit on me are beefy hairy men. I know a lot of T-girls are into that but not me 😭

Women... The scariest of them all. It feels weird to advertise myself as a man to them. But if I advertise myself as a woman I just–... Ugh, it's insecurity but. The last thing I want is my body dysphoria to be affirmed by a girl prettier than me.

Trans/NB... Putting aside the fact we're exceedingly rare. It's sort of a minefield... Cause I know most of them are people like me still going through their transitions and have not yet become the ideal versions of themselves. So, I don't wanna judge them, just like how I wouldn't want anyone to judge me as I am rn.

And those who have completed their transitions... Are no better than cis women, they only date straight or masc men. Which is fair that's their sexuality, and they're entitled to their preferences but you really gonna choose trash (most not all) who won't appreciate you over your own kin??? 😭

Sisters, I really need some hopium rn. 😢