Hi, I'm Juniper, and as the title implies, I'm trans. I recently had a huge disagreement with one of my roommates at college (their name is James and they're nonbinary) about the usage of the t-slur. They had outed me to the RA, and asked if I wanted them to tell the RA to change the name on my doortags in the future. Ignoring that breach of privacy, I responded, without thinking it through, "I don't think I want everyone knowing that I'm a... oops, almost said the t-slur... chuckles transsexual". And then I got nothing but outright hostility from James for the next week, where my attempts at apology were met with yelling and slamming doors.

I have a couple IRL trans friends, but mostly spend time in online trans spaces where the word has been widely reclaimed. I didn't realise how upset it could make other queer people in person. So now I'm moving out because I can't take the way they treat me now.

Was I in the wrong for this?

UPDATE: EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED SINCE (sorry it's so long lol)

After a couple days, we talked it out with an impartial mediator, and I somehow forgot the fact they outed me. We talked, I apologized, and they still retained a hostile tone in their voice (not to mention they didn't apologise for outing me at all). The conclusion was "we might not get along, but we can still share a space." That was a couple weeks ago as of today.

The "peace" didn't last. They continually closed their door whenever I would walk past their room (we have a common area that connects our separate rooms), and when I took my TV out of the common room (which they never thanks me for letting them use), Yesterday morning, James insisted that i return the larger desk i had taken from the common area (for my PC setup) in return. I didn't, and I told them outright that I was keeping the desk (after i had had a panic attack and cried plenty) because I was moving out. James responded with "finally". Then at some point, I remember saying, "I am that word, who made you the expert on the trans experience?" I was about to go on, but James had one of his friends close their door, and that was that.

So now I'm just waiting until housing gets to my room change request so I can leave. I don't have anywhere to stay in the meantime, so it's been pretty stressful having to still stay here. I'm worried they'll do something drastic, and to be honest I'm scared of them. James is unpredictable, and I hope and pray they don't try to ruin my reputation at my college, or God forbid out me to more people.

I really appreciate everyone's honest imput on this, it's been really eye-opening. I'll be much more aware of my usage of the word in the future, but also be more careful of who I trust while I'm still boymoding (so, closeted to most people, I suppose).