So I havent come out as trans publicly yet due to most of my pier group being very transphobic. So I've just been making little adjustments like growing out my hair. Buying clothes to just wear in my room lounging around. Anyways I've begun to wear my fem underwear underneath my male clothes all the time. I love it, it now just feels like my normal underwear and makes me feel affirmed throughout the day. However whenever I'm around my friends and family I feel extremely guilty for doing this and get a ton of dysphoria. Idk it feels like I'm lying to them or something or maybe its just the contrasting reminder of the old me they used to know and how I dont relate to that person in many ways now. My parents are very transphobic so I've realized now I have a lot of internalized transphobia just from being raised by them. I tried to bully myself to not become trans, I used to self harm and throw out all my clothes as a way to "punish" myself for pursuing my trans identity. Should I feel guilty for wearing my fem underwear when I'm around my friends and family?? And if not any tips on how to fight those feelings of guilt??