Okay okay I know that a lot of the time, it's just nerves and fear and stuff that makes a person feel like everything could topple around them at a moment's notice. But given that the right is gleefully seeking to take away any form of medical care that they despise, I'm scared that bottom surgery will be on the chopping block soon. I notice that, when this topic comes up, a lot of people will jump to say "no, that can't happen" in one way or another, either citing federal vs state stuff or suggesting you go out of the country for it, but (a) it can happen, the Supreme Court just decided that access to birth control isn't worth protecting, and (b) many of us are far too poor to leave the country and/or save up about $20k for surgery in Thailand or Korea or wherever else. I have to rely on insurance covering it because I barely live paycheck to paycheck, so saving up $20k isn't really in the cards for me (and I assume I'm not the only poor trans fem here in the same situation). That specific bit of advice hinges on the assumption that the person being given said advice can afford to work a little harder, take 3 months off, and drop twenty grand without having to worry about housing or food.

I want to get the surgery, but waitlists are upwards of years long, and at the rate things are going politically, we have months before things start to get dicey (but that's only if you consider what's going on currently to be good in any capacity). I want to do this, even though it does mean facing an uphill battle with an insurance company, probably finding a new doctor (mine is... yeah), finding a psychiatrist, and then finding an in-network doctor; but I'm terrified that, even if I can get all of that done in a few months, I would end up with a surgery date set in 2026 and before I even have the chance to daydream about it, I lose that date because the government decides it's Too Icky And Weird to allow (because "genital mutilation").

Please, for the love of GOD, be honest. Don't sugarcoat it, don't try to placate my feelings, just be brutally, bluntly honest about whether or not I'm running a fools errand and whether or not I should just give up now before I have the chance to get my hopes up.