Hi there, just a friendly cis male with some questions. I consider myself an open minded person and a bit introspective. Ive had quite the Socratic with myself trying to find some footing on attraction and what it means and how to even identify myself. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a major problem with how straight cis makes view trans women but there also might be a bit of a problem going the other direction as well. I think cis men need to understand what physical attraction means and unburden themselves from homophobic societal pressures put on them since the day they were born, it’s frankly exhausting. I now belive it’s actually more confusing to not be attracted to a woman simply because you know she’s trans. Also if your a male and you find trans women attractive you need to ask yourself why and why they aren’t just women in your mind.if it’s the penis “assuming no bottom surgery” that your focused on then maybe you need to evaluate if your bisexual, if it’s the feminine features then you need to ask yourself if penises are too revolting to you or to strongly associated with masculinity for you. Either way the important part here is the cis male needs to understand that the woman in question is a woman, full stop. On the other hand the trans community imo needs to be honest with themselves about hookups. Yes anyone looking for hookups with any combination of sexualities and identies is typically viewed in a negative connotation. That being said women are sometimes celebrated as feminists for taking the mentality idc if I want to fuck I can it’s liberating. A general understanding that high or extreme libido is present in any population of people. Everyone needs to take a reality check, slow down, and acknowledge the monkey brain that’s literally hard coded for sex is always going to be there, it’s the frontal cortex that needs to learn how to identify feelings of shame and guilt and whatever else (I picked those two because that’s what I keep seeing in refit threads about this stuff) that pesky monkey brain makes us feel when it sends the Ooooooo signals to our system.

Here’s where I ask for help. Because I don’t have any one to talk to about this who is trans I’m here, and I don’t know if I came to conclusions or generalizations that really are bad to have. Please enrich my thinking, and your all beautiful the way you are, and you certainly don’t need me to say that to you.