* clarity best

View Bill Changes --> here <--

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Intro

50% of these changes are pretty awful

"If there are so many changes you won't stand behind squareblob, why are you even making a bill?"

It is possible to maintain the same meaning and spirit of many constitutional sections while increasing clarity and decreasing length. No, the constitution being long is not the end of the world (insert meme) but we still should take the opportunity to make the constitution prettier and increase the likelihood that it is read, respected and understood. This is clearly not just my view : asking in discord there has been broad agreement that it is both advisable and possible to make the constitution shorter yet clearer.

Rationale for Each Change

Goal : keeping spirit of original while increasing clarity and decreasing word count of Article I Section A by 27%.

• All numbered sections referred to are the sections in unmodified constitution.
• Note : I have decided to use the technical legal phrase "Kinda Quirky Doe :flushed:" to most often refer to changes which are a bit dubious.
  

General Changes

• [trivial][formatting] I edited the markdown so it renders correctly in places using non-reddit markdown. This does not change how the constitution looks on reddit, it merely makes it easier to paste it to other sites and maintain formatting without reddit quirks.
• [formatting] I added links in the form §I.E.iii when a section is when information in a referenced section is necessary for understanding. I can remove links if they are deemed too ugly and interrupting.

Article 1

A. Voting Eligibility and Registration [540 -> 394 (-27%)]

Changes to i. Requirements for voter eligibility [102 -> 76 (-25%)]

• Eligibility for both citizenship and voting share three duplicate requirements (yes to property, no to unserved sentences and bans). Ideally one would remove all exact duplicates, perhaps by having some shared prerequisites (quick example). This saves about 30 words total and in some ways clarifies the base requirements are identical but... is probably too "quirky" :flushed: for me.
• In lieu of a complete removal of duplicates, duplicate phrases should be standardized, e.g. "Not be a convicted fugitive from the law of Mount Augusta." and "Must not have outstanding (convicted but unserved or unpearled) criminal convictions made by the Mount Augusta justice system." both attempt the same aim. This change is implemented in the attached document.

General thoughts i.

• The phrase "defined by [...]" could be removed with no loss of meaning, with just a link to the relevant section. I have chosen not to do this as such a frequently read part of the constitution should be as accessible as possible.
• The banned from host server restriction could be loosened to allow more Judge discretion - or perhaps even a vote of fellow Augustans. Numerous Augustans have been banned for reasons other than blatant rule breaking. For example, though relatively few in number, there have been unintended bans repelled immediately after modmailing. I think there are times where it is reasonable to grand eligibility extensions here based on character and record. It may only franchise, not disenfranchise. This is not a priority, of course, as it is true that one has to already be unbanned to take a voter registration pic. > Note : If extra detail of this sort is added to eligibility criteria, as it will be duplicated in both citizen and voter eligibility sections it may be worth switching to the more quirky :flushed: eligibility change.

Changes to ii. Public record of voter registration [199 -> 139 (-30%)]

• (a.) [Feature ] Instead of voter registration threads being present only "prior to any election, or when called for by any citizen" they now must always be present. > It is possible that in particularly inactive times there may be no one to regularly post a registration thread. However I don't believe changing the wording to "must always be present" is problematic, it is also possible that there are times there may be no one to regularly update the eligibility sign, but this latter task is explicitly specified as constantly necessary (and interlinked with voter registration threads themselves) (ok, this reasoning is kinda quirky :flushed:).
• (b.) [trivial] Specifies the procedure for registration thread confirmation is through comment.
• (b.) [?] Made shorter, second sentence still awkward.
• (c.) Changed format so instead of a list of 4-5 items, each item is bullet pointed separately. This helps readability. > I initially added the requirement to include registration image but I believe it is better to leave it to censors discretion so this has been removed. Removed specification that public record must be copied from previous thread (again, we only need an accurate public record, it is needless and unhelpful to specify exactly how this goal must be achieved).
• (d.) Likewise removed specifics of how sign must be maintained and replaced with more general goals (e.g. "publicly and easily viewable" instead of "...placed on a reinforced block...").
• [trivial] (unlabeled section) Added as subsection to (d.). This could probably be reworded and trimmed and a bit.

Changes to iii. Gaining voter registration [68 -> 29 (-57%)]

• (a.) [?] [Feature ] Removed the need to fulfill eligibility requirements for three full days, now one only needs to be eligible when posting image. Of course they could get banned from server 2 days after registration yet likewise they could also be banned 4 days after. I'm not sure a 3 day cutoff helps weed out naughty players any more than no cutoff. However perhaps this is a change for the worse, so as with most other [?] marked changes I will not include it in any bill vote by default (kinda quirky :flushed:).
• (a.) [trivial] Shortened; Changed wording to 'person' as 'citizen' is redundant - it is already an eligibility requirement (though this itself is perhaps a needless change (quirky)).

Changes to iv. Survivability of voter registration [55 -> 35 (-36%)]

• (a.) [Feature ] Changed 30 days after 'confirmation to after 'posting' for we currently do not give confirmation for every voter registration. ("after posting" is perhaps still not specific enough).
• (b.) No change, could probably be shortened and clarified quite easily.(I initially had "If the registration is renewed before expiration it extends an additional 30 days from new posting." yet I think this loses meaning).

Changes to v. Arbitration of voter eligibility [83 -> 77 (-7%)]

• (a.) [?] This rewording may reduce clarity too much (too quirky :flushed:)
• (c. ) Changed so Mayor takes all judges duties in Article I (not only section A) when no serving judges.

General thoughts v.

• I plan on moving this entire section to a more centralized location - This section currently concerns only voting eligibility. However the same phrases are duplicated many times elsewhere (e.g. under absentee voting it states "a vote will be held among the three judges to resolve the question. Should the number of sitting judges be even, the vote of the mayor will act as a tiebreaker."). This will also reduce section length by 70%.

ok i'm so sorry for the massive poorly proofread wall of text above.