player: tell my wife i love her... grrk.

Player 2: we will...

Player 3: wait who is your wife?

player 4: wait he had a wife?

player 1: dead.

Player 2: shit! wait! who are you talking about!!!???

Player 3: woah woah woah!!! stop that he's already dead!!!

Player 4: yeah but we need to know who he was talking about or we cant really tell her...

Player 5: hang on guys I know what to do...

one ritual later:

Player 1: really guys? speak with dead?

player 3: points at player 5 he did it.

Player 5: uh huh. your welcome...

Player 5: by the way you only have three questions you guys can ask and then he goes back.

Player 5: oh and he can't really answer you directly...

Player 2: oh well that's just great now isn't it!!

Player 2: you think you could have told us that little detail before you prepared your little ritual?

player 1: maybe....

Player 5: look do you want to know the name of his wife or not?

player 1: do you?

player 2: well I didn't know he even had a wife until he told us!!

Player 5: well don't you just ask him if he can just stop being dead so he can tell you who his wife is! hmm?

player 1: he has a point...

Player 1: disappears....

Player 2: hey no no no wait!!!

Player 3: ha ha ha ha you idiots...

player 4: shut up dude you are really not helping...

Player 5: oh you mean like how you were helping blew your own team mate with your favorite ability?

player 4: hey I didn't know he was going to charge in front of my fireball!

player 5: oh sure you didn't just like how you didn't think the rangers pet wouldn't be missed when accidently blew it up and then told the druid to take its place!!!

Player 3: wait what?

Player 3: you killed my jiggles!!!????

Player 4: oh come now that rabbit was bound to die sooner or later I mean who takes a rabbit with them into a deadly melee!!!

Player 3: Mr jiggles was based of Monty python's search for the holy grail! he would've been fine!!!

Player 5: he's right...

Player 4: oh don't act like you didn't have anything to do with it, you were the idiot who fed it that strange potion in the first place!

Player 5: well how was I supposed to know it was going to turn him into a killer owl bear!!!

Player 3: wait what?

Player 4: probably by reading the label you idiot!!!!

Player 2: I just wanted to know their name!!!!

Player 4: oh shut up already stop beating a dead horse...

Player 3: actually that was me, and to be fair I didn't know it was dead...

Player 5: you are a ranger! how did you not know it was dead???

player 3: well I thought it was just being stubborn that's all...

Player 5: so you beat it over the head?

player 3: what are you PETA? stop giving me a hard time.

Player 3: it's not like you didn't put the cart before the paladins horse...

Player 2: YOU WHAT????

Player 5: woah bro we already have had one character death here, let's not make it a TPK...

Player 2: that was my only horse you asshole!!!

Player 4: to be fair dude, you weren't really feeding it enough...

Player 2: I fed it apples!

Player 4: yeah, like one a day!? what did you think was going to happen?

Player 2: but an apple a day!!!!

Player 3: yeah that doesn't exactly keep the reaper away...

Player 4: do they even have vets in this game?

player 5: that would be the druid...

Player 3: wait so my bunny was the druid??

player 4: yes dumb ass were'nt you listening?

player 3: oh my god I ate him!!!!

Player 4: wait what?

Player 3: that one time where we didn't have anything to eat?

Player 2: oh... I'm gonna be sick...

Player 4: great so we're all cannibles!!!!

Player 3: well I didn't know that it was the druid!!!

Player 4: well did you bother to ask???

player 5: I mean you do have speak with animal...

Player 3: I didn't think it would mind!!!!

Player 4: well you didn't check!!!

Player 3: oh like you're any better, you and Mr pious over here both ripped a dead guys legs off just so we could waste his time after he was already dead!!!

GM: okay!! and that is going to be the end of our session for today!!

GM: please do not try kill each other on the way out... i just mopped my floor... and my kids are sleeping next door...