I have battled on and off with depression for over 10 years. It will show up randomly for no reason and stay for months to a year. Then go away after some insight and life changes. This time its something different. I don't even know if its depression or not. I have no drive, no passion, no desire. Not sad, but not happy either. Just blah. I don't care about anything or anyone. I got diagnosed with diabetes in July and was like "ok" and haven't done shit about it other than check my blood sugar every few days and take my pill in the evening. I don't feel like myself, the always smiling, goofy, adventure seeking, social person that i am. Just going through life and not doing a thing about changing it. It feels like my soul is gone, my essence, me. Even my libido is gone, which is kind of hurting my relationship with my girlfriend. I see pictures of hot woman and i think yeah i'd sleep with her, but it feels like a programmed thought. Like i'm just thinking that because i'm a guy and she's hot. It doesn't do anything for me or turn me on, and have no actual desire or fantasy to want to sleep with her. Deep down I want to not be that and go back to who i am, hence why i'm posting this. But the books, quotes and motivational material i've used in the past isn't working like it has it the past. It doesn't spark a fire. Can anyone give me advice on how to handle this, or turn me onto some material or speaker that might help with this current situation. Thanks for reading.