The next morning we all get up, have some breakfast and Megan and Felicity acted like everything was hunky-dory again. I left Jason with Megan as he wanted to have a talk with her about the night before while I went with my partner to practice the show fight. Yes it did happen, my partner was awesome and I actually did have a lot of fun with that. The only hiccup was on the very last run through before we were going to call it and my sword broke. Broke right at the hilt and the blade went flying up in the air and landed right in front of my feet.

Now I mention most of us are some flavor of pagan or other spiritual practice and I'm not one for the more the more hocus-pocus magickkkk side of it, the world is always overflowing with omens and signs, its a matter of picking the ones that work for you, but I do think that sometimes the universe speaks.

There were a few hiccups as the day went on, I was in charge of bride wrangling to keep Megan from trying to micromanage everything as Angie got the decorations and everything else set up and organized. Thankfully her make up and hair took up a good chuck of the time and I was able to manage some of the bumps; a lot of guests had or were in a household with Covid and thus quarantined, it included the guest who was going to be the bartender but that was quickly sorted and another barman found. Jason also informed me of how utterly done he was, he had tried talking to Megan while I was practicing about the night before and how she had acted and there wasn't the barest hint of shame, not a tear, not even a shy look away. She only got angry and snapped "We worked that out!" And cut off the conversation.

The two shinning lights of the whole day were my friends Cathy and Miranda. Cathy is a hairstylist and was doing my hair and makeup, Miranda's partner was the DJ and MC and she was along to help. Miranda also made my stunt dress for the fight performance because there was not way I was going to be fighting in $200 worth of silk and ruining it in the process so Miranda made me a copy of the silk one but in durable cotton; stuff that was only $2 a yard and if Megan was going to have any fit about it before the fight I was going to stick out my hand and say "Then pay me $300 right now cause that's how much my dress cost and its going to be ruined if I fight in it." Thankfully no such problem happened, which I was shocked by. The most egregious of tempers that happened with Megan was when we were all literally lined up to start the march down aisle, that she noticed that the flower girl wasn't there. The poor flower girl had been having a fever for a few days before (not COVID thankfully) but just as she was feeling better the day before, the rest of her family came down with it. We didn't tell Megan about this for obvious reasons till we absolutely had to.

Megan went: "What are we going to do then??" And looked frantically at the assembled guests. She really thought we were going to pull a random little girl from the guests and give her the flower basket. Because we literally had her cornered, Angie was able to say, "We're going to make do, we have the ring bearer and we are ready to go!"

Enduring the nearly hour long ceremony in the full sun and 80 degree weather had me more than melting by the end, but I spent most of it in a daze just trying to endure and not object. The weird mix of modern Christianity and Neo-Paganism also had my brain melting, being a cynical witch and a history buff that actually studies the origin and original meaning behind these things, my eyes were about to roll of my head.

My consolation prize was just observing a few small things: They had an RSVP for 130 guests but when I looked for the first time out at the guests there were maybe about 50. Some were due to COVID, some to the fact that people like to do things on holiday weekends that are sometimes planned out a year in advance, but Megan had managed to alienate enough people through her antics and Facebook posts, she seriously underestimated how many people were put off by her Facebook rantings that swung between euphoric about finally getting married, to gloomy depression about something not going her way, to begging for some kind of help with something. If you saw my epilogue to The Queen of Foxes you can get an idea of what those posts were like.

Megan also had a lot of crap planned out at the reception, besides the usual speeches and cake cutting and first dance she had organized an anniversary dance where couples come up to the dance floor based on how long they've together, a dollar dance where the guests pay a dollar to have a dance with one of the brides, it was my job to collect the money and it didn't add up to much because by the time dinner was over and the dancing and other things started, most of the small group of guests were starting to leave because, surprise, not a lot of people wanted to stay to 11:00 o'clock at night. Even so I had a few more moments of consolation, they completely forgot about the dollar dance to I kept the $23 that was donated, and Cathy and Miranda had not met each other before that day and they clicked right away with all three of us becoming fast friends and mutually bonding over the fuckery.

I had also conquered by problem that had occurred a few weeks before: the maid of honor speech. I had to think of something *nice* to say about all of this shit. So with the pretentiousness of all the planning and stuff that Megan had wanted I decided to cop out in the most flamboyant way I could; I mentioned being a history buff, but I'm that nerd that reenacts and experiments with old methods of everyday life to figure out it all worked in the 9th century. If I had a fancy piece of paper and university funding I would be called an experimental archeologist but that's an argument for another day. Thusly I found a New-Age-y enough blessing online, took out any mentions of gods (if you don't go bother gods they don't come bothering with you) and translated it all into Anglo-Saxon. I also had a private laugh as I artfully changed some words and phrases around. For example there was a line of "May they be a salve to each others sight" when translated became "May they be a band-aide to each other's drama" along with "when they return to the haven of home" became "When they return to the port that is out of hares" It was originally going to be 'haven of hares' but the last thing I wanted to wish them was anything to do with fecundity as the last thing that needed to be dragged into this nightmare was a baby. Megan has baby fever and is wanting a child I learned from Felicity which makes me think that why Megan was so hard-up about Aaron is because she was planning on using him as a stud. My hand to god, may that never happen!

Though my personal favorite was translating "When anger burns bright and baleful words come forth to fire their suspicions" became "When they are upset because Baleful Raccoons have hedged in their fence." its makes no sense but the Baleful Raccoons make me happy. Joanne made me a little pouch with a real raccoon face on it to commemorate it.

As the night ran down, Angie and I started to clean up along with a few helpers. Just as we suspected it was just us doing it because Megan and Felicity were too busy with their dancing (We had to be packed up and out of the venue by 11pm) and we had to clean up the place setting and decorations, scrape the plates, empty the glasses, and pack it all away in boxes. Angie soldiered on through the night as best she could but by 9pm she was utterly spent and in so much pain (again through all this Angie is disabled from having a stroke and cancer 3 times before the age of 40) she had to go home. With Cathy and Miranda as my wingmen I dived into the packing.

We were almost done when Megan decided to get involved, stuff was loaded into the back of my truck ready to go back to the cabin for Megan and Felicity to figure out because I was not about to stay any longer than I needed to. I didn't even change out of my dress as I got this all done, the three of us were cleaning up the bridal suite where everyone had gotten ready when Megan came in. I told her that their stuff was packed up in the box in front of her and everything else was in the bed of my truck about to be drive over the cabin so they could unloaded it for over night and go from there. Instantly Megan adopted the look of a stranded fish, eyes going wide and mouth making a puckered O, she gasped out "I don't have room in my car for all that!! I don't have a truck! There's no way I can get all back in one trip, I don't have a truck!"

I knew what she was trying to do, she was trying to look overwhelmed and in a tight spot that she had no idea about, and was panicked over, like she *hadn't* seen the amount of shit stacked up in Angie's sewing room for the last few days and weeks as things were gathered for the wedding, it was all her stuff in the end so she was going to have to take it home. And she hoping that by looking helpless I would say that it was all alright, I would stay and things could stay packed in my truck so it could all be taken to her house in the morning.

And if she believed that was happening she must also believe that the sun is pushed around the sky by a goblin named Wilberforce.

I told her we would unpack it at the cabin for her and she could could figure out arrangements in the morning as I was going home. I mean I only have a two year old and loving husband that I hadn't seen in three days through this whole nightmare, why would I be eager to get home?

She tried saying "Well the owner doesn't want things stored at the cabin."

Well that bit of bullshit was it. Angie and Jason were gone and it was just me now. I told her then she had better figure it out and it looked like she was going to be making multiple trips to and from tomorrow to get all the stuff sorted. Megan was cowed by this as I'm sure she knew she was trying to weasel something out of me I wasn't going to give and there was no one left to rain fallout onto so I was free to be in the right; the smug mask of virtue triumphant can be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed. Turns out there were at least two other people crashing there that night and it all got packed up into the three cars that were remaining under the ever watchful eye of Megan as she sat near by and assured us that she would have helped with packing but she didn't know how. That made everyone pause for a minute and she quickly added "Don't know how in all this" referring to her elaborate wedding gown she was still wearing.

Then finally, finally, it was all over and I was on my way home. The nightmare is over, bridges have been thoroughly burned, Angie and I are now considerably closer than we were, and I am now just grateful for my own happy, uncomplicated marriage, the growing up that my husband I both did before we even said "I do" and last, but certainly, not least, Moonhorse and the Celestial Herd that let me type this saga out and vent the frustrations. You've all been an essential element in the survival kit and I have more than once through all this thought "Oh I wonder what Moonhorse is going to think of this one!"

But if you will excuse me, I have more moonshine to finish, and a few things left from the wedding I am intent on burning as I finally get back to my life.

Till next time friends.