I think I'm going to cross post to my favorite autism pride sub too for advice....

Any tips for getting my kiddo over sensory issues when going to the toilet?

Specifically, he most often does not like pulling his pants down or taking anything off.

He'll run to the bathroom when he needs to poop. But then get upset about pulling his pants down. If he's missed and already pooped and runs to the bathroom, he's upset when he's changed.

In a new place (a friend's house or a restaurant) he's got no problem. I think there's enough new stimulation that it distracts him from the sensory issue. But at home he gives me a lot of grief about it. I have to convince him to start reading a book and even then sometimes he's not feeling it. I'm worried that I'm starting to teach him that he can go in a diaper. He's 21 months old already. We may go several days with mostly dry diapers or trainers. Maybe 1-2 misses for the day. But then some days I feel like I'm forcing him like when he doesn't want to get in his car seat. I don't feel ok physically forcing him.

How do I get him over this hump?