I’m (NB 27) am relatively new to polyamory. I sort of fell into it when I met someone (M 27) two years ago who was in an open relationship, and we just fell for each other completely.

Throughout our relationship his history with polyamory was discussed pretty openly: his partner of 5 years (F 32) had been wanting to open their relationship for a few years, so she could explore women and they could both explore group sex. He had always seemed very resistant to it, until she finally ‘convinced him’, about a year before I met him. In this year, it was mostly her hooking up (mostly kissing) with men and women at friend’s parties, and him having a fwb here and there that never really stuck.

Fast forward to a few months ago, and he decides to break up with her. Independently, I’m living my best queer life and dating a couple of other NB cuties and have started sort of a friends with benefits with a couple of women (emphasis on friends, with rarer benefits).

In recent weeks, my partner (trying to date others too but not enjoying it at ALL) has expressed that he wants to be monogamous with me, and he doesn’t like who he becomes when he sees me dating other people.

I know every connection is different, but I hadn’t seen this side of him at all when dating his ex-F partner? He wants to close the relationship, possibly long term, when there’s connections i’m still in the middle of exploring. I can’t risk losing him because I love him so much, but I don’t want him to suffer because he can’t ‘deal’ with polyamory with me. However, I’ve gotten to a point with some of my connections where I feel quite bonded to them and really really do want to explore them further.

I’m not sure what to do. We’ve got a lil chat set in a couple of days to try to talk it through ‘open mindedly’ but I don’t even know what to suggest. I’ll happily not seek out to date others beyond the people I’m already involved with, but was hoping to find a compromise involving their involvement …. if anyone has any experience of “monogamish” or semi-openness, I’d appreciate hearing about your experiences!

Thanks