Hey there! I'm a 31 year old guy in SoCal and lately some personal things have left me feeling a void inside me that I'd like to fill. Essentially I have the desire to feel like I'm desired, cared for, and good enough for someone. I know that's a bit of a tall order, and I know those aren't things someone can just hand out freely, they definitely need to be earned.

Maybe it's a bit unorthodox but I will start explaining a little bit about myself because it seems that this has been my biggest struggle in dating and I think it's best for me to be honest and open with it from the start

In brief, I have some personal internal difficulties that make intimacy and interpersonal relationships a bit more difficult for me than most people, and it seems like people give up on me before I've felt like I've been able to come out of my shell. This is something I'm working on, and it's something I'm learning to live with and I feel like I've gotten better with it over time but I'm still not "normal" from what I can tell haha.

In terms of my long term goals, I think at least to start I'd be interested in something slightly more casual as we get to know each other and open up, but ideally I'd be looking for something that turns into a full-on long-term relationship.

I should mention that I am strictly monogamous and don't have any interest in having a poly/ENM partner

About me outside of kink: I'm a software engineer at a startup in LA, but don't worry I'm not like a "tech bro" person haha, I just like solving fun/difficult problems. Outside of work I like cooking, reading (sci-fi/fantasy, my library is ~160 books and counting right now!), video games, science-y youtube, etc.

So now the fun parts, in terms of kink: I think I'm pretty mellow with regards to BDSM, like less on the SM side and more on the BD side haha. I'm definitely interested in some light bondage, tasks, control, edging, etc. I think the experience as a whole is a lot of fun. I've found that even though I'm not specifically interested in the "mommy domme" kink explicitly, I do respond very well to that type of energy, caring, strict, gentle, etc. I don't really see the point of listing out a big thing of kinks here because I think a lot of the fun is in the exploration, and in finding things that I think are limits but with the right person I find the desire to push myself for them. So it's going to be unique based on what your interests are. A huge driver for me is my partner's pleasure/enjoyment so it's important for me to learn about you and what you like, but that all comes with time and like I said it's about the exploration nut just making a big list in a text post haha. I am a switch so I don't mind playing either side of the dynamic but I think I do tend to lean more on the sub side. And I've never been a sub in person so that's something I'd really like to explore. In terms of what I'm interested in as a dom, it's effectively the same things I'm interested in as a sub, just playing the other role haha

In terms of dating, I'm only interested in dating someone in person. I have a desire for physical contact and an LDR just isn't something I can do (sorry). In general I'm not interested in online play, but sometimes I do meet some fun people here and might be interested in some casual things online, but that's not my priority. I just understand that who I am and what I'm looking for is pretty rare so there's a chance I don't find anyone locally and in that case I may be interested in something more casual online.

If you've gotten this far, I do find physical attraction/compatibility has some amount of importance, so here's a bit about me: I'm white, 6'3"ish, short brown/blond hair, roughly HWP (I could stand lose a few pounds >.<), have two tattoos (they're nerdy xD and sorta more one combined tattoo rather than 2).

I'm happy to share pictures and talk more, feel free to reach out to me if you're interested!