Unfortunately, this is not the first New Year I have entered on my own. Hell, it's not my second. Or third. I have been single for quite a while. It's a long story, but the summary is I went through a period of time that was really taxing on me physically and mentally.

I was in a relationship that was incredibly hard on me due to my partners past trauma, and at the same time was at a job that demanded a lot of my energy. It broke me. I lost myself. I dealt with severe depression and anxiety for the first time. Everything became grey, and it has taken me a long time to recover.

This was over 6 years ago. Since then, I have dated 2 people and neither of them was serious. To add to my relationship struggles, one of these people lied to me and gave me a gift that will stay with me forever. This further zapped my confidence and I have gone from bold, friendly, and flirtatious person to someone who is nervous to get into a relationship with anyone.

But my desire to love and be loved has not changed.

I miss it every single day. Getting off work to no one every night. Coming home from a long trip to a cold home. Not having someone to celebrate birthdays, holidays, etc with. The older I get, it only gets worse.

I am working on myself in real life, hoping to find my person, but until then I am hoping to find a like minded person on this wonderful website. I have been a part of Reddit off and on for years, and have met a handful of wonderful people in that time. Although it's a challenge, I hope I can find someone again.

Someone who might be in a similar situation, wanting someone to talk to daily. To flirt with. To play with. Someone who has love to give. Who is equal parts caring, gentle, and loving as they are kinky, devious, and dominating.

There are a few kinks I have been very into lately, and I am hoping some of these peak someones interest...

• I crave a Mommy. I want someone who wants to control me in a sweet, loving way. I want to be breastfed, forced into a diaper, made to use it, have accidents, be your best little boy.

• Pegging. I've never tried it but boy do I want to.

• And this one is new for me, but after being on reddit again...traps. I have found myself incredibly turned on by some of the people over at r/smalldickgirls ...

Like I said, I understand finding a partner is tough on reddit, especially for an older man. I've been looking for a while. But I've found someone wonderful people in the past who I shared some incredible moments with. So I am hoping my luck strikes again.

If you're out there, I'll be waiting