AITA because I don’t want to cosleep.

My LO will be 3 next month. I’ve been adamantly against cosleeping since she was born. The bedroom is my ‘safe space’ and my place to recharge. And she doesn’t do well sleeping with us… she likes to babble and play and I’m tired. Her bedtime is 8pm; we follow the same bedtime routine every night while she’s at home.

She goes at least once a week to spend the night with her grandparents. She ALWAYS sleeps in their bed with them. Their ‘guest bed’ is high off the ground and they have hardwood floors so they’re nervous she’ll fall. So okay. I get that. But. When she comes home we have to break back into sleeping in her own bed.

She had a meltdown tonight. She was over tired and screaming. My partner (her dad) said I was the only one that had an issue with her sleeping with us and he’d gladly sleep with her every single night. I said let’s go get her. And of course as he brought her in he says “remember I’m bringing you in here, your momma don’t want you here” and I was mad and told him not to say that in front of her.

I don’t feel like I’m asking too much by standing by my boundary that I don’t care for cosleeping. I don’t mind every now and then like tonight when she’s having a really hard time. But it’s this mentality that toddlers sleep with adults and it’s just allllll okay.

I suppose I should add the context that I’m a survivor of multiple occasions of sexual abuse as a child, and yes, in therapy we talk about how this is triggering, but no one else gets that. And I still want to stand on my boundary of my daughter sleeps in her own bed.