I read a comment weeks ago from one of you who said that after you gave birth, your MIL came to stay and you divvied up roles as follows:

YOU: bond with baby, rest, heal, feed baby

SPOUSE: Take care of you and baby

MIL: Take care of house (laundry, groceries, etc)

I really like this approach. What other duties would be helpful for us to think about

I am grateful to have a very supportive and helpful mom and spouse, and I know they both just want to know how they can be most helpful. For that reason, I think if we are able to discuss/clarify these roles and boundaries up front, things will go smoothly. When I am overwhelmed or tired I know I can be cranky, so I'm trying to plan ahead to reduce questions, confusion, etc. I won't go crazy on the planning like a drill sergeant, but just looking to ease avoidable/foreseeable pitfalls.

For example of boundaries, I told my mom I am ok with her and my dad staying with us and they should not feel at all like a burden so long as that we all understand a closed bedroom door to mean "I want to be alone" and don't play loud music across the whole house. They are normally great houseguests and would never do those things, but my mom felt better when I expressed those 2 rules so that she knows she isn't being an imposition. I told her I know we will want her to babysit so we can have a date at some point, but I don't know enough now to schedule that kind of thing but hear and appreciate her offer to do so, and will take her up on it when the time is right. I'm not shy about asking for help, but she wanted to put this offer on the table.

Similarly, my husband is getting excited about his role as the primary diaper changer ever since I read and told him about one of your comments that said you chose to breastfeed and you and your SO decided your SO taking on diaper duty seemed like a big duty he could "own" most of the time. We were at Target the other day looking at strollers and he was checking out what he called "first responder bags" (diaper bags).