Ive been struggling with the idea of adding another child to the crew. Initially I wanted to have them back to back, like pregnant at my 6 week checkup (I know I know, idk what I was on). Pregnancy surfaced allot of my childhood trauma, then post partum hit me especially hard because of pre pregnancy mental health stuff I didn't deal with. Had a surprise pregnancy (yay PO method) that I miscarried and I've been trying to find myself again. Daughter is 2.5, in 3 different therapies (OT, DI, and speech), and lately all I've been wondering is if I just was not meant to be a parent at all. I feel like I'm failing my kid because she has no friends, we can't afford daycare, don't have any family nearby and I hate that I'm her only person, besides Dad when he gets home for a few hours.

I see allot of parents of only children saying their kid didn't develop certain skills like sharing, not being the center of attention, or mom/dad not showing attention to any other children. I was a reclused child in a family of 6 and i know what it's like to feel alone. But to actually be alone...is anyone willing to share how life is going with their only child?

Husband shared today, after a sports game outing gone very controlled by our toddler, that he is okay with not having anymore kids because he misses time with me to do whatever we wanted. Funny thing is, we didn't do a whole lot before kids but work, school, playstation or Netflix. Now that we have a kid, he wants to do all the not kid friendly things. Sorry for the overly emotional word vomit on my first post in here, typing this while bawling may not have been the best choice.