I think back to how many tantrums I threw as a kid… over what? Now I realize how many of my moms mornings, afternoons and evenings that I ruined by just being difficult for no reason.

This morning, my 3 1/2 year old wanted cherry tomatoes, so I told her to get her stepstool, but she refused worrying that she won’t be able to reach them (she clearly would be able to) and wanted to use the kitchen chair, I told her to give it a try and if she couldn’t reach them, I would help her. She threw herself on the floor and was screaming so I put her in her room because the baby is still sleeping. She’s in there screaming and banging and hitting the door.. saying she’s going to hve an accident, so I get her out and got her stepstool so she could turn on the light. She refused. So I’m sitting on the couch crying while she throws a fit in her open doorway.

She’s so capable and knows how to do so much.. the last couple months have been so difficult and I’ve tried to be gentle and firm, and tried raising my voice and spanking.. she just gets into this craze. Refuses to calm down, take a deep breath, just fucking listen at all. Then after all of it, she happily follows through on whatever the argument was about. Such as, she cheerfully came out and got her stepstool and got some tomatoes.

My husband has been gone for about a month and won’t be back until December and I just could use some morale support and someone to jump in because I’m so tired.

Edit; just wanted to add, it’s not characteristic for me to lose my temper at all. Just after so long of lack of immediate support. I just feel like I’m doing something wrong and it makes me want to curl up in a hole.