My son finally lost his first tooth last night (he's nearly 8, so he's definitely a late loser). He was beside himself with excitement and it was so cute! Now comes the hard part: he's old enough that he does not automatically believe in the tooth fairy. Oh shit. He wants to Google 'is the Tooth Fairy real?'. Bigger oh shit.

So he Googles, but not before I tell him that lots of people don't believe in the Tooth Fairy so he will see things saying that. OK, he sees it. He's still not 100% convinced but he sticks his tooth under the pillow. One stealth swap later, I tiptoe out of his room convinced that I have this parenting shit down.

Alas, I was wrong. This morning arrives. I gently wake him up and he feels under his pillow. No tooth, just a lovely, crispy note. Success, I thought. I was swiftly disabused of this notion. He becomes completely distraught at the the fact that his tooth is gone and he wants it back. Bugger, shit, arse holes. How do I dig myself out of this one? I gently explain that the Tooth Fairy has probably used the tooth already and it may not be able to be return. "If the Tooth Fairy is real, I hate her", was the reply, with pure venom. The Tooth Fairy better watch it, he's ready to order a hit.

I eventually manage to get him calm by suggesting that he write a note to the Tooth Fairy asking for the tooth back and hope for the best (thank the universe that I kept this bastard tooth). So here I am, typing with a sore hand after writing an essay in miniscule handwriting (because, according to him, how can she write if she is so small?). Well, Mr Questioner, she shrinks the pen and kills her hand muscles, so there. I'm also a dollar down because I am basically bribing him to continue to believe.

So yes, the life of a modern day Tooth Fairy is a tough one. Better hope Santa is having more luck this year!