He is an anesthesiologist whose fellowship at Harvard made him my top choice and I have been waiting years for this appointment. I want this appointment to go well more than anything I have ever wanted.

I have been in pain ever since I could remember. I have 10 chronic illnesses and I am in the process of getting another diagnosis, I have been chronically ill for the last two decades, people keep telling me I'll be fine because I'm young but I never feel fine.

My mom won't come to the appointment with me because its too early in the morning. She refuses to leave the house without getting ready and putting makeup on. She is a narcissist and I am afraid of picking up her behaviors so badly. I need to move out but I can't afford to with how sick I am.

I really just need some support and guidance if anyone happens to have any? I don't want to cry at my appointment tomorrow, I want to be able to handle my emotions when speaking about my pain but doing that seems so difficult.