I thought about asking elsewhere but here feels safest and warmest, so thanks in advance, mom.

I'm adopted by my aunt (love u mom, thanks ♡), so my birth sister is still in my life... sort of. But she got taken out of foster care by her actual dad, and was a young adult when I was born. I was in foster care until my aunt took me, at 12. Sis had a child of her own and got married, divorced, and another child. Why didn't he take me too? Why didn't I get to grow up with my sister? And if she wanted children, why not me? In fact, she rarely reaches out to me at all, and I feel like I hardly know her. My brother and sister (originally my cousins, and still her cousins) have closer relationships to her. I feel so... out of place and left out. Even though I'm related to this family by blood, I feel so outcasted and unwanted and alone. I also feel jealous and bitter towards my sister, and angry at her father.

I'm grateful of course. But it hurts a lot every time I think of it. Am I a bad sister? A bad child? What can I do to try to build a relationship with her? Also.... I could use a hug and some affirmation that I matter at all.

Thanks as always, mom.