It started with family drama on Sunday and Monday. I’m very private but shared some personal stuff about my open relationship and upcoming divorce with my mom. Who went and immediately told my dad, who didn’t know about my open relationship at all and called me upset and told me how disappointed he was. My mom apologized and I forgave her but I don’t feel supported by either of them, obviously.

I saw friends later in the week and had a good time, but then it turned out we had forgotten my friend’s birthday and she was really upset. I tried to apologize and figure out how to make it better. I’m still trying but I’m having a hard time. I want to be a good friend but I don’t feel like I have much to give right now.

My boyfriend and I were supposed to have a fun day together on Friday since I took the day off. He suggested massages and then the movies. But he didn’t find any place that could do massages on Friday in time. I did, but he said they were too expensive and cancelled them. He tried to book another place but booked the wrong day so he cancelled those too. At the last minute he said we could re-book the expensive place but of course they couldn’t do it anymore. He also didn’t get any movie tickets like he said he would. I told him I really could have used a day of quality time and felt upset that he didn’t follow through on what he said he would do. He ignored me. I told him I didn’t feel supported by him and I really needed it. He ignored me again. This man is 40 years old and we have been dating for over 4 years. I don’t think I’ll ever get the support I need from him.

So I’m at my soon-to-be ex-husband’s apartment by myself with the cats I abandoned to live with my new boyfriend. I can’t think of anything to do to feel better except sleep or drink. And I already slept like 16 of the last 24 hours.

I might just go to the store and get a bottle of booze. I don’t know what else to do.