I've never been good at expressing myself to you. I'm sorry mom. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I miss you like crazy and I just want to hug you. No words. No explanation. I don't know how to express my love and appreciation for you mom. No one and I mean no one can take your place no matter how toxic our relationship has been, I'll love you forever I'll love you for always, as long as I'm living my mama you'll be. I don't know what I'm going through right now mom, I don't know exactly what I need, but really all these years it's felt like anytime I had the chance to hug you I felt at peace. And now as I lay in bed across the country, I don't have the option to hug you. We take these moments with our parents for granted. I just want to hug you mom. No words. No explanation. I'm sorry.