My excuse was wildly out of my hands, because jury duty comes out of nowhere, but I'm happy that it came up. I'd rather stay here for the holidays with people that understand and accept me.

You say you love me, and I believe you, but why don't I feel like you do? I don't have an answer to that question, but i do know that I feel more genuine love from my friends on Final Fantasy XIV than I feel from you. I feel like I could tell them anything, and they'd still accept me. That's supposed to be your job

You came to visit me a few months ago, and I knew it wasn't going to be good. You tried to make me feel emotionally safe with you. You and Dad bought me dinner, took me bowling, bought me a drink, we had a nice time. The next morning, you take me to breakfast. There, in a public place, you gave me the real reason for the visit. You think my girlfriend of two years is awful and a poor influence. You think that I need to come back to live with you because it's better for me. You think your social circles are more healthy than mine. You offer me a possible job, help with dental bills, and cheap living. Only if I break up with my girlfriend and come back to you.

Why would you think I'd want to come visit for Christmas? I don't want to see you anymore. When I do come, it won't be for you. It'll be for grandma, because she isn't going to live too much longer and I love her a lot.

Why would I come visit? You say I'm not the same. You're right. I've changed a lot since I moved out, and it's mostly been for the better. I'm just no longer comfortable around you. I can't tell you about my sexuality. I can't tell you about my struggles with my gender identity. I can't tell you about my mental health. I can't tell you about my labor of love, my writing, because I only expect scorn and emotional manipulation. When I showed you the first thing I wrote, proud of myself, you remember what I got for a response. Dead silence. It was as if you hadn't read it, though you said you did. I hope the new story I'm working on has more of an impact on you, and you'll actually give me your opinion.

I'm slowly taking command of my life. You won't control me anymore. You called and tried to get me to make the long drive anyway, but I took my stand and told you no. And I'm going to keep telling you no, until you change.

I'll see you in a couple of months, I guess. I'm not looking forward to it.