Sometimes I miss you a lot. I miss you when I'm lonely and want to chat, when something big happens and I need to chat, when everything between hubby and I is messed up and I need a sounding board. When I'm planning a new creative project or trying to write an email that I can't word. I miss you. I miss you too when the kids just won't behave and the housework seems endless and I want to know how you managed but also want to spend 2 hours ignoring it all and talking nonsense with you.

But I don't miss the judgement. When we bought our first house I was glad we didn't have to worry about you being able to get to it. When we named G I'm glad you couldn't have any input. I'm glad you weren't around to add to the stress when GG was put into the care home. When S started school I'm glad there was no "I told you so" moment when we chose school over home education.

I'm sorry but some things have just been easier to get through without you around to add your opinion and make me feel useless.

I wish we'd had the "best friend" relationship you thought we had but it wasn't as balanced as that.

Part of me is glad I can get on with my life without having to consult you.

But I still miss you.